My life...

I love looking back on my life over the course of the past six years and to think about how much it has changed. Being a mom and changed everything...and definitely for the good! I seriously wouldn't want my life to be any other way than it is at this moment. My kiddos and Doug are my life right now, and I absolutely love living in the moment with them.

I have also learned to embrace the chaos...and by golly, there is a lot of chaos. From keeping track of the children when they are out playing, cleaning the house, doing laundry, doing the dishes, feeding kids, dealing with tantrum-throwing-two-year olds, wiping sticky faces, kissing sticky faces, taking Noah to and from soccer, going to the park, playing with the kiddos, tickling the kiddos, teaching the kiddos right from wrong, breaking up disagreements between the kiddos, getting Noah and Leah ready for school, etc, etc, etc...

My life it totally focused on raising these kids and being there for my family in any way that they need me. This is what I signed up for, and I wouldn't have it any other way! Yes, there are days when I just want to throw in the towel and be done with the day. But I can't do that...I have to press on because these kids need me. They are so dependent on me, and I kind of like it. Even when everything is falling apart, they need me to help them, and, in a way, helping them, helps me! I love it...really, I do.

I especially love watching them learn and grow every day. In fact, I love it so much that I don't want it to end. I have a bad habit of getting sad when good things are over. For example, I was SO sad when Noah graduated from Kindergarten! That year was hands down the fastest year of my life! I couldn't stop thinking that every year was going to be that fast from here on out. I wasn't sad about his accomplishing this year in school, just the fact that it was over. I recently came across this quote, and I have to often think about it so I can be more in the moment and *happy* about this kind of stuff...

Isn't that such a great little quote?!? I love it, and I really do think of it often. Noah, Leah, Isaac, and Kate grow so much and learn so much each and every day...of course they're going to grow up fast at the pace they are learning. Yes, sometimes I do wish those hard days would go by a little faster so that I can move on to the next and have a better one, but the reality of it is that I need to embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly and appreciate all that goes on.

I also have a bad habit of thinking of all the things that I should've done with the kids, or with Doug. Like, maybe I should have played more with them instead of focus on all the little things around the house. Or, maybe I should have taken them to the park, and if I would have done that we wouldn't have had such a grumpy evening. I'm a pro at making myself feel guilty, and I know that I need to STOP that! My kids are happy, I know this. I see it in their faces. They don't need do to arts and crafts every.single.day. Or go on an outing every.single.day. All they need is me...that's what they are going to remember, and that is what makes us all happy. Sometimes just sitting outside doing nothing at all is what they need. And I don't want them to think that they need to be entertainted by something, or by going somewhere, all the time. It's OK to just sit in your room and play alone sometimes. We all need our own time to reflect...even if they are little people :). The little things are what's important.

That said, I think that I need to focus a little more on me. Of course, my family comes first, but sometimes I need to have my own little outlet. I think that it would be really good for the children to see me do things that I enjoy doing. I do believe that it will benefit them and give them memories of me as their mommy. I do sew, but I don't do it often enough. And, when I do, it's usually when they are in bed. Same with scrapbooking, and doing any other craft for that reason. I absolutely LOVE to create things...it's what I'm good at. But you'd never know cause I hardly do it. SO, I've decided that I need to do more creative things, and I do believe the kids will benefit from it. Mostly because what I want to do/make is for them!!! I'm totally addicted to PINTEREST and I have posted so many things that I want to make, and I'm going to start going and doing. I'll figure out a way to do it with the kids around too. I've figured out how to balance the needs of four little ones, I'm sure I can figure this out too.

I love blogging, and reading blogs, so why not have a blog to document some of this stuff. I don't aspire to being a well known blogger at all...but it's nice to have a place to document what I'm doing aside from my "real" life. I'm going to keep my personal family stuff here, and everything else here. So, come on over and check it out every so often. Hopefully I can get into the groove of creating soon. I know that it will make a difference in my life...as well as my sweet little family. After all, they are my everything!!!