Overwhelmed

Yes, I have been a bit overwhelmed lately. Just a little bit!

Let me begin by saying that I have always wanted to be a mommy. Even when I was a little girl. I remember playing with my babies and taking care of them and loving them. And when I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I remember saying "a mom". Really, being a mom was my dream job.

And now it is happening. My dream has come true...TIMES THREE! I am a mommy to Noah, and Leah, AND Isaac. Oh my...have they ever come true! Plus I have the most amazing husband!

When I was little, I thought that being a mommy was all fun and games...boy was I wrong. Now, I do try to focus on the good stuff...really I do. But, just because I want to focus on what is good, doesn't mean that the hard stuff isn't there. And, lately, the hard stuff about being a mom has totally slapped me in the face.

Here are some examples {just to name a few}:
~ The tantrums...oh, the tantrums! Tantrums are constant around here lately, and if I'm being honest...I'm SO sick of it! Seriously, when Noah and Leah start throwing tantrums, I just want to go and lock myself away in my bedroom...and I have! And the thing is, is that I know that this just the beginning of many years of this...my oldest IS only 4! Saying "no" to them about something, translates to them that this is the end of the world...and then the tantrum starts. Leah's are the best...laying on the ground, screaming {and boy can that girl SCREAM!}, and kicking her legs. And there are times that nothing will work to stop the tantrum, except time. And Noah, well, he's finally old enough to know that when he starts a tantrum, and then looks at me and sees "the look", he stops. But then he just whines, and, to me, whinning is just as bad as a tantrum.
~ Giving my attention to them has been so much harder lately. I mean, I am always with them, but they all want/need my attention at the exact same time. This has been the one thing that has been so hard for me to balance, especially since having Isaac. Example: Isaac needs to eat, so I start to feed him. Seconds later Leah tries to climb on my lap {remember, Isaac is already on my lap} and wants me to read her a book. Seconds later, Noah comes over and wants me to go upstairs and play trucks with him, and the moment I tell him that he has to wait...he...throws a tantrum {big surprise}. After calming him down, which is getting to be easier, he goes and gets a book to read while he waits for me. And during all of this, Leah is still trying to wiggle her way on my lap and won't even consider sitting next to me instead. Ugh! This happens EVERY day, multiple times a day...they all want and need my attention at once. I know that they need to learn to be patient, but I feel so badly not giving them all of me when they need it. Mommy guilt...big time!
~ Housework. I've always been a little obsessive about cleaning the house and keeping it organized...but lately this has all gone down the drain. There are days that I hope no one comes over because my house is a disaster...I mean a total MESS! Toys EVERYWHERE, laundry piles in every room, dishes piled up in the sink {because, of course, the dishwasher hasn't been emptied}, dirty clothes on the floor, and I could go on, but I'll stop there. Keeping up with the house has been so much harder for me lately. And, if I'm being completely honest, I don't really care anymore. I'm realizing that I'll get to it when I get to it, and eventually I do. I'm beginning to realize that time spent with the kids is far more important than housework. Yes, I do want my house to look nice, but in the long run, what matters is being there for the kids. They do come first. BUT, that doesn't mean that it doesn't drive me a little crazy when I think of ALL of the things that need to be done.
~ The "to do list" keeps getting longer and longer. There is just so much to do and so little time to do it all! The list includes: painting the house, cutting down the tree in the front, organizing and printing out pictures, buying some winter clothes for the kids, organizing the storage room, decorating Noah and Leah's room, sewing curtains, and the. list. goes. on! This is definitely getting longer before it gets shorter. I just don't want to think about it, but I can't help it!.
~ Going on errands is SO hard lately. Yeah, I pretty much don't go anywhere anymore. I do sometimes, and only if I absolutely have to, because taking all three of them to a store is pretty challenging. But, when I do, guess who wins the prize for being the most well behaved?? ISAAC! He just sits in the baby carrier and watches Noah and Leah as they become little terrors. Seriously, I'm convinced that those two get together and create a plan on how to make this shopping experience even more challenging for mom. Like...how many times should we get out of the cart before mom freaks out, OR how many times should we ask mom to buy something before she freaks out. Yes, FREAKS OUT is an understatement, SO, in order to avoid this, I limit our outings. And when we do go somewhere, it's to the park or a someones house.

Well, those are just some highlights of things that have overwhelmed me lately. It's hard to find a medium that will work, but I am striving to find it. Of course I don't want my kids to throw tantrums, and I want the house to be clean, and I want them to be well behaved when we go out...but everything isn't going to be perfect. What I do know, is that my kids know that they are loved, and I sure do hope that they know that I am trying my hardest be a great mommy to them. I want them to be happy, but I also want them to learn that we have to work hard and that life isn't always peaches and cream. There are going to be bumps in the road...and that is OK. I am realizing this too, and it's hard to steer clear of the hard stuff sometimes and focus on the good. The good does outweigh the bad. Yes, I may be overwhelmed, but being a mom, and a wife, is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Life really is good, despite all of those bumps!